Starting my day, in those early years, was not something I did alone. She was there. She went before me into those fresh new hours, praying and preparing the way. She worked and toiled in ways only mothers do, and softened the world with words and warmth that only mothers mean. I didn’t know back then, what a rare gem she was, because she was mine and as much a part of my life as the breathing and being that happened without my consideration.
She made hot breakfasts for my brother and I, and I can still smell them anytime I close my eyes and point my mind. I remember the birthday cakes and the back porch, the rope swing and the sound of that old piano. There were family dinners around a family table, and joyful notes floating up from an old silver radio.
I knew she loved me, truly, fully and forever, even in the turbulent beginnings. She did whatever it took, in every circumstance, to make sure I’d be okay. She paved my life with goodness and with the will of her words, created so many things in me that I’ve yet to fully uncover.
I grew up and away and still she woke early, praying and paving, distance never deterring. When I came home from time to time, she patched my wounds and built me up and when I left once more she cheered me on through lonely proud tears. Somehow, slowly, as the raising and rising between us finished, something new and better began to take shape. As I became a woman, we two became friends, and what a lovely unexpected gift!
There were lunch dates, and shopping, and phone calls and fun. I found new comfort in her love once the fixing was finished and the seeing began. I thought then, with a happy heart, that we were as close as we could be. I was wrong, in the most surprising and special way.
Slowly, suddenly and all at once my own daughter arrived. With a flutter of her lashes and a gentle rose petal sigh, she came into my life and rearranged the edges of my soul. Seeing her, gave the world new purpose, and me a new perspective on it. I felt for the first time, what was in my mother’s eyes, so true and deep and beyond my grasp until the world held within its fragile folds, children of my own.
I see your example and hear echoes of your kindness in these fresh early hours. I feel the weight that sat on your shoulders, and I know what your heart holds. I walk through these turbulent years with gratefulness and hope because you walk through them beside me. You still patch me up when I come around, and pave the way forward with wisdom and love. The mark you made, that you’re still making, created and then changed my outlook on life. I see the impact your quiet love has had, and I can think of no better gift to give to my own children.
Thank you, from the bottom of this grown child’s heart. I love you more than this one life could contain.
Your Daughter
The Glittery Nurse