An unimaginable tragedy crashed into my family recently and I watched from afar as the brokenness and pain drew my loved ones away from their differences and towards each other in a mutual search for some way, any way forward. All the struggles and difficulties in my life were suddenly white washed and insignificant as the horrific news reached me, and the truth of what’s important and real came so painfully into focus. I looked on in awe as my family members were lovingly embraced in a monumental way by, of all things, their church. They came together and stood taller because they were united. The beauty and strength I witnessed in that, was so large and so vivid that I immediately recognized its absence in my life, and it’s opened up something in me that I put aside long ago.
Nursing
Talk About It And Bring Tissues
Happy International Women’s Day! How did I not know that was a thing? This is a holiday I could totally bedazzle and get behind. I would’ve thrown a fabulous party and made some buffalo chicken dip had I known. Ah well there’s always next year. Unfortunately there were no celebratory shenanigans around here. My daughter and I did get to spend the entire day together, but not because we set out to be extra supportive or empowering. We just happen to both be pitiful and sickly. Turns out we have a gnarly case of the snot plague. Our faces are leaky and our throats are hateful lava holes. It’s pretty gross and I think it’s best if we hold off on trying to be profound or inspirational, at least until all the lisping and mouth breathing subsides. Next year, all bets are off. We’ll inspire and empower and profound the socks off of next year’s Women’s Day! Go team!
During my travels to the various doctor’s offices and pharmacies today, I noticed several newish vehicles with in-memory-of decals on their back windshields. I don’t entirely understand the sentiment behind a rolling memorial like that and, given my lack of knowledge on the subject I want to be especially careful not to judge. Here’s the thing: I think we need to talk about these uncomfortable topics. Really get in there and talk about them with the people we love and those who care about us. Bear with me here. I’m headed somewhere.
For the sake of setting that uncomfortable conversation in motion, I’d like to hereby state for the record that I will straight up haunt anyone who tries to remember me by plastering my sad death date on the back of their car. Just no. There are a thousand ways you’re allowed to memorialize me: donate my organs, scatter glitter, plant a tree or some happy flowers, write a poem, go on a dolphin cruise, or light some paper lanterns and get weird about the twinkly night sky. All of those things are completely acceptable and appreciated. Just know that the back windshield tombstone is not how I want to go out. I’m glad we got that straight.
While we’re on the subject of uncomfortable end of life wishes, lets really get in there and get awkward about it.
Organ Donation
I know. It’s a touchy subject. I completely understand why you feel that way, but this is a conversation that absolutely needs to happen, so hang on to your keyboards and follow me.
Full disclosure, I am one hundred percent PRO organ donation. If I’m no longer alive enough to use my organs without the assistance of machines, I would be honored to pass on anything worth having to someone still in need of mortal things like lungs and livers. That being said, I wouldn’t judge you for making a different choice due to your values and beliefs, provided that choice didn’t come from a place of misunderstanding or fear.
This is a very personal decision and you should take the time to fully research and understand your options. The thing is, just making that decision is not enough. You have to sit down with the people close to you and tell them what you want. Did you know that even if you’ve designated yourself as an organ donor on your driver’s license or in some registry, your next of kin can negate that decision in your final hours simply by objecting to it? It’s true. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I understand why it happens. It would be cruel to tear a family apart by going forward with donation despite objections.
That’s where you come in. You have to talk about it, more than once, with more than just one person. If you really want to make sure everything goes as planned and there are no hard feelings or lingering questions by those left behind, set up a power of attorney! Put it in writing so that great grandmother so and so can’t derail your wishes by saying you hated needles when you were two. Also, have a sit down with your great grandmother so and so and tell her what you really think. It’ll be good for you guys. She might think you’re crazy and newfangled but that’s okay because you already know she’s strange and crotchety, and you still want to be just like her when you grow up. You love each other. So talk about the important things while level heads can prevail, and then talk about it some more just to quiet the pesky doubts that tend to grow unnoticed in the dark silence.
I’m too snarled up and sickly to be articulate tonight, so do me a favor and follow this link for some hard core organ donation feels. There’s more where that came from. Get you some of this, and a big helping of this too. I’ll share my tissues. My daughter and I have plenty of tissues today what with the leaky faces and the snot plague.
Sniffle Snort,
The Glittery Nurse
Dear Future Patient
Tomorrow is my very first shift as a nurse on the floor. I’m full of anxiety and excited energy. I’ve spent years preparing for this moment, and yet my nerves aren’t at all calmed by those efforts. I’ve been told this is normal, good even, and that I will never feel fully up to the task. I believe that. Still,
Diet and Didactics: Day 1
I’m happy to report that I’ve made it safely to my destination and uneventfully completed day one of my new nurse training program. So far so good! By the way, traveling with a sandwich baggie full of Splenda in your vehicle looks decidedly nefarious. I never did find my electric skillet and I still think the laundry had something to do with its mysterious disappearance. If you missed out on the saga of the disappearing skillet, you can check that out here. The good news is it doesn’t matter because, as it turns out, the place where I’m staying has the cutest little kitchenette that ever did kitchen. I haven’t used it yet, (see confession below), but